I want to die. Life is not worth living.
It feels like Skrillex is throwing a gig in my head.
Every time I open my eyes, I see stars. Violently spinning stars.
The technicolour dreamcoat? Well, that’s the only explanation I have for what I just threw up.
I smell tequila. At least, I think it’s tequila. It may also be a mix of sweat, vodka and bad life choices.
I’m brutally hungover.
I wish I could tell you that last night was like a Katy Perry video, all cute, bubbles and Hanson. All I can tell you, is that espresso martinis are the devil. A delicious devil, mind you.
I am throughly useless with a hangover. I can’t sleep, everything hurts and I need to stay very, very still. If I’m unlucky, the munchies kick in. When I get the munchies, I will literally eat anything I can get my hands on. If I’m even unluckier still, this could go on for days.
For this, the only cure is bacon. Lots, and lots of bacon. Turkish bread. SALT.
When I turned 18, after my first big night out on the town, needless to say I didn’t feel well the next day. As I lay curled up on the bathroom floor, my mum stood in the doorway and pointed and laughed.
“Welcome to the world of the hungover, bub” she mocked.
And then she went to the kitchen, and made me bacon and eggs. To this day, it’s still my favourite cure.
Bacon and Omelette Sandwich with Roasted Tomato Aioli
Adapted from: Kitchen Coquette by Katrina Meynink
2 tomatoes, or a dozen cherry tomatoes
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
1 tsp paprika
1/4 cup milk
2 tbsp chopped flat leaf parsley or chives
4 slices of bacon
2 turkish bread rolls/baguettes or 4 slices of bread
1. Preheat the oven to 190*c. Line the base of a small baking tin with baking paper.
2. Brush tomatoes with oil and season with salt and pepper. Place the tomatoes on a baking tray, and roast in the oven for 20 minutes. Place the tomatoes, mayo, garlic and paprika in a food processor and process until smooth. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.
4. Combine the eggs and milk in a bowl and whisk until fluffy. Pour into the small baking tin, sprinkle over the herbs, and place in the oven. Bake for 10-12 minutes, the eggs will puff up.
5. While the eggs cook, fry bacon in a greased pan for 3 minutes each side, or to your liking.
6. When the eggs are done, lift the eggs from the pan by the paper, and cut into strips.
7. In each sandwich, layer bacon, omelette and drizzle with the roasted tomato aioli.
FYI: This makes enough for 2 sammiches – because we all know misery loves company, and you can’t do shots alone.