Once upon a time, there was a girl.
Now, there are a few things you must know about this girl. She’s accident prone, for one. Has a short attention span for another. Those two things are directly linked. This day, in its entirety, did actually happen recently. I wrote it down to cheer up a friend, and reading it back amuses me, only because otherwise that’s the only choice I have.
Also, I swear I did Real Work, but that’s nowhere near as interesting.
6:30 – Alarm goes off. Without opening my eyes, or lifting my head, I smack the snooze button dead on, first time, go back to sleep.
7:05 – Actually get out of bed. Curse myself for running late, promise myself I won’t do this tomorrow. I say this every day.
7:20 – Out of shower. Attempt make up, still half asleep and shivering, with… Interesting results.
7:40 – Peek out the window, it’s rained overnight. This cheers me up, as I really enjoy puddle jumping. Curse my housemate for not letting me buy wellies.
7:50 – Definitely late now. Arrrrgh.
8:16 – Try to sneak into the office. Bash my hand on the elevator door. Curse loudly, and literally run into my boss, who is now second guessing the decision to move the woman who used to sit next to me, as she was the team’s first aid officer. Apparently, I’m the best form of training anyone could ever hope for.
8:30 – Burn myself with boiling water making my first coffee for the morning. I work for the government (kind of), it takes me 5 minutes to convince the OH&S officer that I don’t need to file a safety incident report, and that I’m just clumsy. She now thinks I’m an idiot.
8:40 – Score a hazelnut latte from a buddy, as our barista made two by mistake. The vast amount of sugar in my system is starting to numb the throbbing in my hand.
9:00 – Finish latte, and the coffee I just made. Not sure how smart that was. Seemed like a good idea at the time though.
9:25 – Heart palpitations and hand shakes are normal in a young person, right?
9:38 – I think I’m dying. Maybe salt would counter the sugar/caffeine. I’m going to pretend chips are a breakfast food. Owwwww…
9:50 – Google sonic screwdrivers while I wait for the chest pains to subside. Wonder if you can order phone boxes on the interwebz. Wonder where in my house I could fit it. Decide that I don’t care, I’ll make it fit if it means I have to cut a hole in the roof. Landlord be damned!
10:23 – The sharp caffeine come-down is making me cranky, and I growl at one of my minions for asking a really stupid question. He now won’t look me in the eye, and I get the feeling he’s afraid of me. As all minions should be. I consider this to be good work.
10:30 – Begin the daily ‘what’s for lunch’ debate. This goes on for some time.
10:52 – Get caught by my division manager doing my t-rex impression. I want to put a bell on this man, where did he come from? This is going to take some explaining…Bollocks.
11:00 – Google ideas for dinner. I’m really really hungry.
11:27 – Rock out at my desk with one of the girls to the Foo Fighters. Whip myself in the eye with my hair though, which really hurts.
12:30 – Return from lunch with various snacks. Proceed to get myself covered in crumbs, and when my boss wanders over to ask me a question, I discover I have cheese on my face. Quietly die of shame.
1:30 – So full, trying not to fall asleep at my desk. Can’t actually fit more coffee in my stomach. Resort to poking myself with a pin to stay awake. Stupid carb coma. Debate the validity of bulimia as a lifestyle choice when you eat as much as I do. Decide it has merits, but I’m too lazy.
2:15 – Get sent on an errand for my boss. Stacked it in the middle of an intersection. In front of many, many people. I think someone clapped. 2:30 – Discover one of the girls I work with doesn’t know who Michael Bolton is. This results in much facepalming, googling lyrics and youtubing ‘How can we be lovers‘ and ‘I said I loved you but I lied‘. Also involves some passionate, overwrought sing alongs, complete with power ballad fist pumping.
3:15 – Try to retain a sense of decorum while I try to explain to a friend that it’s probably a bad day for her to start her new diet, considering we are going out for Italian for dinner tomorrow night. Which was her idea in the first place. Give up.
After an exhausting day, there are few things quite like coming home to an easy, comforting dinner.
This is, without question, one of my all time favourite things to eat. Who would have thought a ham and cheese sammich could be made so fantastic? Uh, the French. They take everything and inject it with awesome.
So, when all else fails (and I fail at life regularly), keep this recipe in mind. It makes everything better.
1 tbsp butter, plus softened butter for bread
1 tbsp plain flour
3/4 cup milk
Pinch of grated nutmeg
Coarse salt and ground black pepper
2 tbsp Parmesan, grated
85g Gruyère cheese, grated (about 3/4 cup).
4 thick slices good bread
170g thinly sliced ham,
1. Preheat oven to 180*c.
2. To make béchamel sauce: Melt butter until foamy in a small saucepan on low heat. Add the flour, stirring constantly for about 2 minutes until smooth. Stirring continuously, slowly add milk, and cook for 2 minutes or until it thickens. Add the nutmeg and season with nutmeg and salt and pepper. Stir in Parmesan and 2 tbsp grated Gruyère, remove from heat and set aside.
3. Lightly butter the bread slices on both sides and toast in a pan until they turn just golden brown.
4. Spread the Dijon on one side of each slice of bread. Place the ham and ½ cup Gruyère cheese on two of the slices of bread. Top with the other slice of bread, mustard side down.
5. Spread a layer of béchamel sauce across the top and sides of the bread, sprinkling with remaining Gruyère cheese. Place on a tray covered in baking paper and bake for 5 minutes, then place under a grill for 3 minutes, until the cheese bubbles and turns golden layer brown.
P.S. SUNDAY! This. It’s going to be amazing, and you should be there. Fact.
P.P.S. Come back Friday. I have an announcement. You could win stuff, and winning stuff is AWESOME. Fact.